So, tonight…(stream of consciousness memories)

I’m feeling tired and I’m reflecting on memories of my Grandma, she died when I was 9 and I remember standing by her casket and sobbing, sobbing with my cousin and even now almost 30 years later I cry when I think about that day, and I remember the sticks of Doublemint gum and the $5 bills in the birthday cards, and the brown bag full of small gifts when we’d arrive on the farm, and I remember her setting out pie tins full of kitchen scraps for the wild cats who wouldn’t come near until you were peeking from behind the screen door, and I remember she saved the bacon grease, solidified, on the stove and how she loved the lilacs out the window, and I remember the raspberries & milk and the jam downstairs in the cellar with the paraffin seal, and I remember her jewelry box and how she’d let me wear the earrings, and I remember sitting by her on the brown nubby couch, her legs propped up, she was patiently teaching me how to crochet and I made the world’s longest crochet chain, it stretched for miles and miles and that crochet chain is still stretching from me to her, stretching and helping me remember.

Remember_2